“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. We’re advising all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This piece of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, articulate, bespectacled member of the oozy monster mob that overruns Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s nothing more than an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. But, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid existential counsel. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.
When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Indeed, most of the fang-bearing creatures that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same wry, meta funny bone regarding the indistinct border separating daily routine and absolute bedlam. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and as I age, it’s the underlying idea that echoes the loudest.
Of course, my fondness for this movie didn’t start on such an deeply thoughtful note. In my youth, we were limited to a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve likely purchased from an independent video outlet and sporting grimacing beasts on its worn-out artwork. I was right away smitten and these films wasted no time embedding themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. Henceforth, they became an near-everyday part of my youthful watching schedule.
Dante’s first film commonly garners all the accolades, thanks mostly because of its reputation as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its follow-up rarely gets the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d retreat into the house and pop it in. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Gradually, it became deeply rooted in my mindset. If my parents observed this fixation, they gave no indication of concern.
As I grew, new revelations rewarded frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching diminutive verdant beasts happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.
The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was based on a real-life “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film different iterations of a self-aware scene where Gremlins take over the very film you’re watching. An edit for movie houses, another for home video and television, each offering a winking bit of meta pop-culture magic ahead of its time.
While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this subsurface richness held my interest as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no qualms revealing to me he made the movie with the specific aim of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This Looney Tunes-esque rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only increased my affection for it.
When I endured a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Possibly not. The comforting familiarity it furnished was essential to thin out my mind’s sadness sludge – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: embrace the chaos, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.
It’s robust worldly wisdom from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my comfort movie.
A ceramic artist specializing in sustainable pottery, blending traditional techniques with contemporary aesthetics to create functional art.
